30 Jun 2005

why i'll never go to mayball again



last week was known as may week. this is the problem with cambridge, things don't make sense. let me run you through this again:


may week occurs in june.

ok, now that you have your perception of reality calibrated with the insanity of cambridge, now digest this piece of information:


there are these balls that are organised by the students of various colleges. all of them are unreasonably priced, allegedly according the quality of the experience. prices range from around £60 to £150 per person. these balls are known as may balls. now you get the drift of what is happening.


so this year, i went to one of these balls, mainly because a whole bunch of friends are going. to attend these balls, you have to do a couple of things:


1. obtain a tuxedo because the dress code is black tie. (a side note, what the hell is black tie when you are only allowed to wear a bow tie? and what is the difference between a dinner jacket and a normal suit?)


2. pay through your nose for a ticket. i paid somewhere in the region of £90 for the privilege.


3. queue up outside the ball for an hour because apparently that is the tradition. why you have to queue up for something you've paid £90 for, i have no idea.


now that you are inside the ball, you figure, well, since i've paid £90, there must be _something_ that makes me go "wow, that was really worth it." unfortunately, there is nothing like that! the idea is that the ball starts some time around 9pm and continues until 6am. through out the thing you can walk around, try this, and try that and eat this and eat that.


what is there to eat? let me see, kebabs, stir fried noodles, some salad, some mexican beef burgers, crepes, waffles, strawberries, ice cream, fruit. i think that pretty much covers it. the only thing that was impressive was a fountain of chocolate fondue! now that was impressive. as for the most disappointing, it has to be the dried up hunk of rice they were attempting to call "sushi." its a miracle that they could even claim that they cooked the rice because it tasted it it came straight out of the paddy fields.


so food was pretty disappointing, but at least there was unlimited alcohol (champagne, cocktails, etc). and not to mention, around 3am, there was a coffee cart serving the worst coffee ever served to mankind. it literally tasted like they forgot to bring any coffee grounds and served us espresso made from the corpus lawn.


what is there to do? well, nothing that is worth £90. there was a jumping castle, an oxygen bar, some speed dating thing, lots of music, massage, a hypnotist, a fake casino which was the size of the toilet of a small mcdonalds outlet. oh yeah, and there were temporary tattoos and some video games and foosball which was always in the college anyway. nothing really that could keep you entertained for 9 hours.


stayed for 9 hours only because there is a survivors photo at the very end. it means literally that you've lasted till the end and not left half way through in protest or demand your money back. to add insult to injury, the people who took the photo decided it would be funny to put the photo inside a stupid flash program so you can't download the damn jpg. but no worries, handy swftools was able to extract the jpeg pretty easily.


 Mayball Survivors


the only consolation is that when you left, they gave you a free copy of the Saturday edition of The Times. Woohoo!! err .. hang on ..


i swear i'll never go to one again. and they say smart people go to cambridge. sheesh!


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